The Good Side of Vulnerable

beingvulnerableEveryone is vulnerable – its part of being human. For many people, vulnerable is a bad word. It conveys weakness and insecurity. No one wants to be vulnerable but it can be the key to emotional and relational growth.

When you identify your vulnerabilities, you can start facing your fears, doubts and insecurities. It’s not an easy or comfortable process but there is GOOD that can come from being vulnerable.

Once you identify your vulnerabilities you can start to be aware of how they affect your interactions with others, your relationships with others and your relationship with yourself. The idea behind identifying your vulnerabilities is to accept them and to work on them. If you accept your vulnerabilities, you are less vulnerable. If you deny them, you are more vulnerable.

Here are 5 keys to the good side of vulnerable:


1. Learn to ACCEPT your vulnerabilities: Part of loving yourself means to accept all parts of yourself – the good and the bad. If you accept that you have vulnerabilities then you’ll have the strength to work through them. 

2. Don’t expose your vulnerabilities to the world: Many people would love to use your vulnerabilities against you.  Only share your vulnerabilities with those you TRUST.


3. Don’t use your vulnerabilities as an excuse: You can’t continuously use vulnerabilities as an excuse for a way that you behave or feel. Learn to recognize when they affect you and don’t let them control you.

4. Use your vulnerabilities to RELATE to others:  If you see a friend struggling with insecurities and you have them too, don’t be afraid to admit it. Life isn’t a contest for having a perfect life. Relate to each other and try to HELP each other. vou

5. Use your vulnerabilities to GROW: Having vulnerabilities means you have room for personal growth. We will never get rid of being vulnerable but we can continuously work to use being vulnerable for positive change and to become a better person.

To be vulnerable is to be alive” – Madeleine L’Engle 

Pray Before Reacting

lifelessonsOne thing that has helped me immensely in the last month is to pray before reacting. I have noticed when I pray for God to help me understand an emotion or to get through an issue, the outcome is MUCH better than relying on my own thoughts and judgement.

When I’m having a hard time with something, I pray. Depending on the issue, I will pray for things like understanding, compassion, peace and comfort. If someone else is involved, I will pray for them too. Just by taking a few minutes to talk with God, I almost immediately gain better perspective, feel peace and know that I have someone on my side to help me through things. And, its always amazing how well things tend to work out after praying!

Lessons in Prayer

6/23 – The day before the Mission Hospital Golf Tournament

Tomorrow I am volunteering at Mission Hospital’s golf tournament. I will also win an Audi from the opportunity drawing because I am praying to win it. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not promoting that people should pray for material things. Lately, I’ve been focusing on prayer in ALL aspects of my life: my relationships, my career, self-improvement, wisdom, friends & family, provisions, health, etc.  Just like the saying “there’s no such thing as a dumb question,” I believe that there is no such thing as a prayer not worth praying.

I’ve been reading a book called the Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. This book has really opened my eyes to the importance of praying no matter how big or small your request or dream might be. They key is to pray continuously and know that God is powerful enough to answer any prayer we may pray. To clarify, God does not answer all prayers exactly the way we are expecting but if we are faithful to pray continuously, he will bless us.

There is a verse in the bible that says, you have not because you ask not (4:2-3). The passage also goes on to say that you receive not because you ask with wrong motives. In the case with this Audi, I need a new car. Mine is almost at 200k miles and I have a feeling something is about to go wrong at any moment. I’ve made two promises – one that I will post this regardless of the outcome tomorrow and two that I will donate my old car and use the Audi to help whenever I can (making deliveries for nonprofits and whatever opportunities to help with the car come my way).

Let’s say the worst case happens tomorrow – sure I’ll be a little bummed but I know that God will have other blessings in store. AND I’ll never think, “If I had only prayed for that, maybe I would have gotten it.”

6/24: The night after the Mission Hospital Golf Tournament

I did not win the Audi. As it was getting closer to the time for the drawing, I had a lot of hope but also a peace of mind that no matter the outcome, I was going to take a valuable lesson away. As I thought that, it occurred to me that as much as I wanted to win the car, maybe I should pray that whoever needed the car the most would win it. So I did. While I hoped that I would be the person who needed the car the most, I realized that sometimes we pray for things only applicable to us without looking at the bigger picture. When I first started praying to win the Audi, I thought… “I would like to win this car so I should pray to win it because maybe the reason I wouldn’t win it is because I didn’t ask for it.” Now I realize my prayer for something material could have been more dynamic and less self-centered.

I’m ending the day tonight happy and thankful. I think about all the ways God has blessed me this year and how he gives me exactly what I need when I need it. 🙂

How to be Happy at a Job that makes you Unhappy

If you dread going to work every day, you are probably at a job that makes you unhappy. Being in this situation can be tough and quitting is usually not an option unless you have another job lined up.

So how can you be happy at a job that sucks the happiness out of you? It’s no easy task but you have to try to fight to keep your spirits up. Here are a few things to try that won’t compromise your current situation but will give you motivation to keep on “truckin:”

1. Learn new skill that you can use at your current job. If you are in a field where you can learn new software and/or skills that would make you a better candidate for other job opportunities, take time to learn them at your current job. This will help you feel like you are doing something for yourself and make you feel like you are accomplishing something.

2. Focus on the Positives. If you focus on the negatives and all the reasons you are unhappy at your job, it will only bring you down more. Try to focus on the positives aspects as much as you can.

3. Make Friends. You spend most of your day with the people you work with. Try to get to know some of the people you work with and spend more time around the people who are positive and friendly.

4. Eat your Lunch out of the office. If your job is a major source of unhappiness, get out of the office whenever you can. If you bring a lunch, get outside! Go to a park or find somewhere that you can recharge. If you go out to eat, enjoy the time you are out of the office.

5. Avoid Negativity. Avoid people who are unhappy, who gossip or who have negative conversations. If you surround yourself in negatively, you will find yourself drowning in it and it will only add to your unhappiness.

6. Don’t be Grumpy. Don’t let your job get the best of you and make you a grump.